Thursday, June 30, 2005

What I did on my Summer Vacation

First off, I don't have any pictures yet. I haven't gotten them out of the camera yet. I don't think there's too many of me either, just a few tasteful nudes. My vacation kicked ass too. There weren't any ticks or giant spiders to battle. The only issue was the fact that there were bats living in the ceiling of the cabin. I wanted to start a fire underneath them and then when the smoke forced them out we could shoot them. Needles to say, cooler heads prevailed. The sissies just waited until dusk and when they flew out on their own they put screen over the hole so they couldn't get back in. I liked my idea better, though not burning down the cabin and using firearms while drunk, was probably a plus. The weather was great the whole time we were there, I finally got to even out my "farmers tan", no offense to any farmers, but I now have an even tan. I quit smoking so I'm gonna get my cancer from the sun now. Fishing was good, not a huge number of fish but they were really big. I got to do some trout fishing too, the South Fork of the Oconto River was good and so was Dalton Creek. Both of those are in the Nicolet National Forest, which is were we were staying. I didn't catch any trout that were big enough to legally keep, but I did catch a ton of them so I still had a great time. If you've ever seen a wild brook trout you know that just getting to see them almost makes it worth catching them.
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The colors are much more vivid in person, the picture doesn't do it justice. It was a much needed break from civilization, I now feel much less like killing people for stupid things. I was close to not coming back though. The only problem with that is I don't know of anybody that will pay me to fish and drink beer all the time. I did assault my liver pretty bad, I think I went through a little more than 2 cases of beer in four days, you do the math on how many per day that is, really, I can't think that hard yet. All in all, a great vacation. Pictures will be in an upcoming post, really. I'm sure I took some, I just can't recall what they were of right now.

Friday, June 24, 2005

Out of Town

Hey you three that read this thing, I'm going out of town till Wednesday. I'm heading north to battle giant spiders and blood sucking parasites. Oh, and I'm going to fish and drink beer too. I'm bringing a digital camera so I might even take some pictures. I'm leaving, I'm on vacation now. I'll take lots of picture of my smokin' hot, well tanned body, well I am tan, at least. I'll probably forget that I have the camera too. Later, there's beers to be drunk, or is it drinked. I know of at least one hot teacher that reads this thing who, or is it whom, can correct me on that.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005


Hey kids! It's the first day of the summer! You all know what that means........ The days start getting shorter tomorrow!! Pretty soon it'll be getting dark at 5:00 pm. Ahh, good times. Also, for all you tree worshipers, it's the summer solstice. I think this is the day that you're supposed to dance naked in the woods, just remember your bug spray. I like the 100% DEET Deepwoods Off, for naked dancing. I don't worship trees, I just like dancing naked in the woods.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Conversations with Mom

This is part of an actual conversation I had with my mother over the weekend...
Me-Hey mom, I'm going to be out of town next weekend, I'll be gone till Wednesday.
Mom- You should give me the phone number up there just in case I need to get a hold of you.
Me- There's no phone up there.
Mom- What if I die or something.
Me- Why would you want to ruin my vacation like that, you'll still be dead when I get back.
Mom- I guess you have a point there Johnny, give me your cell number anyway.
Me- Ok, but if the fish are biting I'm still not coming home till Wednesday.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Stealin' People's Mail

I guess I have to tell the story now. We didn't so much steal the mail truck, it just kinda tried to follow us home. When Scoot and I were in high school he had a summer job delivering medical supplies. It was pretty boring and it took him to some interesting(scary) parts of town, so he asked me to come along with him on his route one day. During summer vacation in high school my schedule was usually open so I agreed to go. Most of the day things were pretty mundane, aside from the unusual nursing home delivery. His delivery vehicle was a full size van. If anybody has ever driven a full size van you'll know that your vision is pretty limited. Scoot's car at the time was a Datsun 210 hatchback, very small car with good visibility. Well, one of the last deliveries was at a home. Scoot pulled up to the curb in front of the house, got out, and made his delivery. While he was doing this a mail Jeep pulled up behind us and parked, the mail man got out and started doing his deliveries. Scoot gets back in and puts the van, with bad visibility, in reverse. He backs up, where there was no mail truck two minutes earlier, and bang. We both look out the small back window and notice the mail truck. I said, "we didn't hit it that hard, let's get the hell out of here". Now we were both 16 or 17 so this sounds like a good idea. So Scoot puts the van in drive and we start to leave, we get about half a block and the mail dude comes running out by the road and starts yelling, "WAIT, STOP, HOLD ON!!!". We both look in the tiny back window and I yell, " HOLY SHIT, IT'S FOLLOWING US!!". Scoot stops and the mail dude catches up with us and kinda laughing says, "can I have my truck back?". When we bumped him, our bumper hooked his and we just kinda dragged his van with us. Mail guy says, "there's no damage and I don't feel like filling out any paperwork, let's just get this thing unhooked and you guys can get out of here". That sounds like a great idea to us, so I stand on the front bumper of the mail jeep and Scoot pulls forward. We all kinda laugh nervously and go our respective ways. So there it is, we didn't really try to steal a mail truck, we just tried to do a hit and run. See, we're really not bad guys after all.

Friday, June 10, 2005


I'm at work waiting for paint to dry, so I decided to post something. Yeah, I'm actually waiting for paint to dry. Here in Wisconsin, our fine Governor Doyle, has decided it's a good idea to make me sign a ledger and show a picture ID to get any type of cold medicine with pseudephedrine, but thinks it's a really bad idea to have to show a picture ID of any kind to vote in an election. I rarely talk about politics but this is insane. I'm not going to say what his political party is, I don't think it's even relevant. I can't think of any reason why a person shouldn't show an ID to vote. Even worse, psuedephedrine, for people like me with bad sinuses, is a miracle drug. It keeps me from getting piercing sinus headaches. I understand making it hard for the guys making meth to get the stuff, it's the main ingredient, but this is just stupid. I'm going to have to write this dumbass a letter about this shit. I hate politicians, they're all full of shit.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Cars, and Lips and Mail Trucks

I don't have much to blog about tonight, I haven't done much lately besides work. Last Friday the Hot Rod Power Tour started in Milwaukee. Actually Friday was a few unofficial cruises and parties, which I attended. It was really cool seeing all the great cars and hanging out with friends too. The only bad part was the fact that my car was sitting in my garage in a bunch of pieces. I met a few pretty cool people too, friends of friends. I met a girl and her husband, both of whom I'd met before, at the race track, who were also totally into cars like me. I was completely infatuated with her lips. Not in a nasty way, I was just mesmerized by the shape and by how she gestured with them. I just couldn't stop staring at them. I wasn't trying to pick her up or anything, her husband was right there, not that I would have even if he wasn't. I just found it kinda funny that I was so attracted to her lips. I spose I should have complimented her on them by saying, " you got a purdy mouth" or something like that.
Other than that, I got nuthin'. Maybe I'll have to tell you all about the time that Scoot and I accidentally stole a mail truck, we did give it back though.